The New Yuck Mess

Well I didn’t think it would take 13 games to spawn my first Mets rant but it’s Mikey’s birthday so this is my present to him.

The 6-7 record means nothing to me, it’s the fact I’ve seen this act 3 years in a row now. The offense scores early, has the other pitcher on the ropes, and doesn’t do anything the rest of the game.  There has been a lack of intensity, a lack of fundamentals, and a lack of any kind of a sense of urgency really since Game 7 of the NLCS. Last night I saw all of the ingredients in St. Louis, complete with Benny Hill music in the background (thanks Moose).

OFFENSE:

The Mets put up 4 early runs but still couldn’t land that knockout punch and were absolutely atrocious on the basepaths. Murphy was picked off 1B and thrown out at the plate but the best was saved for last when Beltran pulled a Jeremy Giambi in the 8^th inning as he tried to score standing up, even though the fucking ball was right in front of him and he knew it would be close. What happened in fundamentals? One of the first things you learn in little league is slide if it’s close. But no, the pretty boy can’t slide because he must have had a tube of Vagisil in his back pocket and/or he doesn’t want to hurt the catcher, his buddy Molina. I hate that shit. If there’s a play at the plate, you need to knock that catcher into the fucking dugout. What a fucking joke.

PITCHING:

Oliver Perez is a cunt. A team gives him a 4-0 lead and he couldn’t hold it, to the point where he went all Kenny Rogers on The Great Khalil, he of the mighty .290 OBP. How the FUCK do you walk him of all people with the bases loaded and two outs? $36M for a guy who’s afraid to challenge hitters, for a guy who has no balls to pitch through tough spots? He’s completely worthless and I wish Omar would have given Lowe that 4^th year. Sure he might be a decade older than Perez but has there ever been a more underrated big game pitcher than Lowe? Really though, Perez reminds me of one of those old school Mexican banditos or something. He just needs the evil mustache and he’ll have it down-pat, since he already perfected the stealing money part.

DEFENSE:

Murphy just isn’t cut out for the OF. That’s two horrific errors in the span of 13 games and the worst part is Manuel’s quote after last night’s disaster: “We’ll get to a point to where he’ll almost be average.” Are you kidding me? This is what a $140M payroll gets these days? A LF aspiring to be mediocre? If they were willing to live with horrible LF defense, why not open the wallet to get Manny in the off season? At least he makes up for it with his bat… which brings me to my last point.

PHILOSOPHY:

All winter long, I heard about how these Mets were going to stress a team-first attitude and the value of fundamentals… and then they sign Sheffield. League minimum or not, if you’re going to take on someone with baggage, how about someone who isn’t 40 and who has actually played the field since 2005? You moved into a new stadium, you still could have bumped up the payroll and signed Manny for two years while staying under the luxury tax. I applaud Omar for the new bullpen but there was still work to do, at the very least getting another thumper in that lineup or someone to take the pressure off Wright. The Nats got Dunn for a steal, Omar couldn’t at least have kicked the tires?

I’m just flabbergasted that the same group of players who endured Game 7, the 2007 collapse, and the 2008 choke, are content with this kind of play. I’m not saying treat April like October but this team, more than any other, should know that every game makes a difference and a loss in April is the same as one in September.

Braves/Phils: Opening Night

Pregame: Philly gets to celebrate its defending World Series champs while I wonder what Chan Ho Park has to do with any of it. Joe Morgan looks the same as he did in 1990, so says Jon Miller. Good to know the Apollo Creed mustache is still going strong 20 years later. Steve Phillips joins the broadcast this season, as apparently ESPN needed to fill its skirt chasing quota. If it were any other duo, this move would probably be subtraction by addition, but since it’s Miller and Morgan, it’s a lateral move at worst. The Phils walk to the field thru the crowd like the NWO or something, while starting pitcher Brett Myers just comes out of the bullpen. My guess is that’s a term of his probation. Speaking of wife beating, Bobby Cox is back for a 613^th consecutive season on the bench for Atlanta.

Top 1: Myers gets the start tonight because Cole Hamels is a pussy. Harry Doyle once said that the first at bat of the season would set the stage for the entire year. Kelly Johnson flies out, so apparently nothing’s changed from last year. Larry Jones gets booed and rightfully so, but slaps a 3-2 pitch to left for a single to extend the inning. McCann’s batting cleanup? It’s come to that for the Braves? Wait… never mind. Mac just hit it to the moon, putting it in the second deck in right for a quick 2-0 lead!! Now’s as good time as any to comment on the Braves navy blue unis, which suck, and the all blue batting helmets, which are blah. 116 year old Garret Anderson hits one a mile, but foul, before grounding out.

Bot 1: Time for the Atlanta debut for Derek Lowe – hopefully the Face is long gone. He looks like someone, but I have no idea who. I’ve always liked Lowe and like him with the Braves. Not sure he’s an ace though. Rollins 3-unassisted. Werth has trimmed back the hair and no longer looks like Edge. Joe and Steve talk about the Mets collapse… last year’s edition, not the ones from ’06 and ’07. Morgan praises Braves’ rookie Jordan Schafer, who is likely the next Brave I despise, given his attitude problems in the minors coming up thru the system. Hey, I thought Utley was out thru like June. Utley crushes one deep right, but Frenchy runs it down on the track.

Top 2: Before I can get back to my seat, Frenchy swings at the first pitch (no shock there) and lines it directly into the left field seats!! Holy shit!! It’s 3-0 and the boo birds are out for Myers. Glad to see a title hasn’t changed anything for the moron Philly fans. It appears Frenchy has ditched the evil Frenchy chin strap beard in favor of a light goatee. I like it. Casey Kotchman – the big return in the Teixiera trade – strikes out, and Schafer’s up in his major league debut. I dropped this fool in my fantasy league in favor of Milwaukee’s Mat Gamel, so what does Schafer do? HOMERS TO DEAD CENTER!! Who needs to go to jail for domestic violence when you got 50,000 drunk Philly fans ready to pound your ass? Huge Bronx cheer when Myers gets out of the inning.

Bot 2: Lowe vs. Howard to lead off. $20 says Howard strikes out – and he does!! No worries, he’ll drill a homer off Wickman in the 9^th to win the game. I know better. Prized free agent pickup Raul Ibanez grounds out. And hey, let’s check on the WOMEN’S FINAL FOUR!! Speaking of women, Victorino grounds out and that’s a 1-2-3 inning with ease.

Top 3: Myers is back out, so I guess he hasn’t been drawn and quartered in the streets yet. Yet. And then Escobar DRILLS one to deep left center and the fans are booing even before it stays in the park for a double. LOVE the Phils fan who’s already so cynical about the season that he’s arguing that he touched the ball and that it should be a home run. IT’S SIX OUTS INTO THE SEASON!! Phillips rambles about all the pitches Larry can hit, to which Morgan counters with a 22 second rant about “fastball in” being the only one he can’t hit. Larry proves Morgan wrong by whiffing at a breaking ball instead. Mac fouls out, and Anderson grounds out to strand Escobar.

Bot 3: Happy peter leads off the 3^rd and flies out harmlessly to shallow center. Is it just me or is Miller balder this year than last? Frenchy muffs a foul ball in right while Joe calls him “Fran-CHUR.” Ya gotta think that Ruiz gets on given the free out, and of course he does, ripping one inside the 3^rd base line. More fan interference this time, and it’s a double. Myers works the count and grounds out on the first pitch. Ya gotta love PAUL MAHOLM getting an opening day start in the big leagues. Nothing says “we’re committed to winning” like putting Paul Maholm on the hill for opening day, and not due to an injury. Way to go, Pittsburgh. Rollins does NOTHING and that’s that.

Top 4: It’s refreshing to see Citizens Bank Park when there’s not a monsoon over it. Frenchy leads off the inning and TAKES FIVE PITCHES IN A ROW! He celebrates this watershed moment by lining out to Rollins. The crew praises Frenchy for adjusting his stance this year, going to an open stance (not entirely Terry Pendleton style, but getting there) which I approve of. An underrated detrimental effect of trading Teixiera: not as much cup adjustment between pitches this season. I miss that already. With that second inning bomb, Schafer joins Elijah Dukes in the “Baseball Players to be in Jail Someday” club. Check that, in the “MLB’ers Who Homered in their First AB” club. Schafer gets on anyway, but Lowe flies out to end the inning.

Bot 4: Schafer looks like a complete tool with his unshaped cap. Why don’t ya just turn it sideways and wear it like B.J. Upton? Larry with a lazy one hop throw that beats Werth at first. Breaking News!! Louisville beats Oklahoma!! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF ESPN! Kotchman with a good diving stop and gets Utley. Howard grounds out, apparently having left his talent at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Top 5: Philly pitching coach says Myers is fine. Sure, he’s only been rocked for three homers and had a half dozen other balls smoked, but he’s fine. So what happens then? Larry crushes one for a groundrule double. Joe says Chipper is “picking up where he left off,” which is code for “will be on the DL within two weeks.” As I’m losing interest in the game, Myers gets out of trouble.

Bot 5: Phillips finally speaks for the first time in two innings, having presumably returned from the bathroom after some bad cheesesteak, and mentions that Cholly says that Victorino isn’t a good bunt guy or a good hit and run guy and that he just wants Victorino to swing the bat. On cue, he strikes out. The game is officially boring at this point, but when it’s your pitcher getting 1-2-3 innings, boring is a good thing.

Top 6: Anderson gets a fluky infield hit off Myers’ glove to lead off. Back to back infield grounders move Anderson to third. “Logan Schafer” comes to the plate, as Jon Miller channels his inner Jim Ross. Seriously, dude homers his first career AB on opening night, singles his next AB, Joe Morgan’s gushing over him, and you can’t get his fucking name right?? Schafer gets on base three straight, this one with an intentional walk to set up Lowe. Lowe, unlike Myers earlier, works the count, but watches strike three go by. “Likely Myers’ last pitch.” Of the night, sure. Unfortunately, not for his career.

Bot 6: They keep talking about the “official” first Sunday Night Baseball of the year coming NEXT week. How isn’t this “official?” It’s not like anyone gives a shit anyway. Greg Dobbs pinch hits for Myers and it’s mentioned that Dobbs also homered in his first MLB at bat. Can you guess who it came off of? I’ll give you three guesses, but you’ll only need one. Joe says Cholly doesn’t manage X’s and O’s, which is too bad, considering Andy Reid could use some help next door. Besides, do you really manage “X’s and O’s” in baseball? Unless you’re Jerry Manuel or Earl Weaver, respectively. Rollins gets on with two outs, but Lowe catches a liner back at him from Werth and that’s that.

Top 7: Two down in a hurry, and Larry’s back to the plate. Morgan talks for FIFTY FOUR SECONDS without coming up for air about talking to Hank Aaron and getting old and learning to hit and repeats himself about 5 times in all. Larry makes like he’s at a Hooters and has a seat.

Bot 7: Middle of the order here in what may be Philly’s last good chance. And Lowe gives me NO material to work with, retiring Utley, Howard, and Ibanez in quick fashion. Man, that Philly 3-4-5 is SCARY… if you’re a Phils fan.

Top 8: I’m officially not paying any attention anymore. Durbin is on to strike out, er, face Frenchy with two outs. And hey, look at that!! No, not that Frenchy struck out, but that he struck out LOOKING! Someone call a press conference. This from the same dude who would swing at a pick off attempt to first base. Despite the result of the at bat, this is promising.

Bot 8: Eight pitches, three outs. Need I say more?

Top 9: Why the hell is Lidge in the game? He retires two quickly and they pinch hit for Lidge as the dramatic horror movie score begins to play from the Atlanta bullpen. Lowe’s given up two hits over eight innings, just threw eight pitches to sit three guys and you’re not letting him finish it? Are you kidding me?? He’s in complete control out there!!

Bot 9: The surgically repaired Mike Gonzalez is on to close things out is this non-save situation. I trust this guy more than any arm that’s been in that bullpen since 2002 John Smoltz – which isn’t exactly saying much. Bruntlett pinch hits to lead off and doubles on the 4^th pitch. Oh boy… Rollins with a sac fly to right, and Frenchy can’t gun Bruntlett down at third. Werth singles to left to break up the shutout as I’m ready to start throwing things in a minute. Peter Moylan and AA’s Favorite Relief Pitcher are warming up in the pen, which is the equivalent of choosing between Solly and Moose to pinch run for Sid Bream. Utley walks on five pitches and Howard steps in as the tying run. Jesus Christ… Maybe he’ll go 6-5-3 on the shift. Smart money says he ties the game here. But I am happily wrong! Carlos Howard looks at strike three and we got two down! Philly’s last chance rides on star free agent all-star future hall of famer acquisition Ibanez. Philly might as well pack it in. Ibanez works it full… but STRIKES OUT SWINGING! The Braves sweat out a 4-1 victory on opening night, yet I have NO IDEA why Lowe didn’t close it out.

No witty post game from me considering I didn’t finish watching the game til Thursday and I have no interest in listening to Morgan and Phillips talk about nothing.

It Putz The Lotion In The Basket… Or Else It Misses The Playoffs Again

First off, props to Omar for taking a big step toward improving the bullpen. Coming off 29 blown saves, adding K-Rod and Putz will do wonders for that abortion known as a bullpen, to the point where I think the Mets now have the best 1-2 punch in the 8^th and 9^th innings. As much as I love the bullpen facelift, I still think something’s missing. I’m always of the opinion that you can never have enough offense and there are still question marks in that Met lineup. The core, namely Reyes, Wright, and Beltran, is fine but outside of that, I have no idea what to expect. Can Delgado repeat his 2008 season of 38-115? Sure he’s in a walk year but he’ll be 37 next June and outside of flaxseed oil, I don’t see him getting better. The outfield is even more puzzling. Beltran is far and away the best CF in the game but the corner positions scare me to death. I have no idea which Church is going to show up, the one who had a solid 1^st half or the one who resembled Zombie Benoit from July to September. The Mets got a solid season from Tatis, .291-11-47 and a ton of key hits, but the idea of him platooning with Daniel Murphy doesn’t exactly get me moist, especially with Church as the great unknown in RF. I know the Wilpons lost a huge amount of money recently but there are two corner outfielders still on the market who would make one hell of a difference in that lineup and take the pressure off guys like Wright and Beltran. Both make too much sense for the Mets NOT to sign. One is obviously Manny: imagine him hitting between Wright and Delgado. I don’t care about his aloofness. The guy is the best right-handed hitter of our generation, maybe since WWII. Let him fuck around all he wants, I say he’s worth at least a two-year deal with an option for a third. The other option is Adam Dunn and I might even want him more than Manny just because he’ll be cheaper and he can play 1B next year when Delgado goes.

It seems like both options are out of the question as Omar is just looking to sign another starter but it wouldn’t hurt to at least kick the tires on Manny or Dunn. Pitching is great but you’re never going to win a game 0-1.

Here we go again…..

So, what happened to the real 2008 Chicago Cubs team?  This team that has faced the Dodgers the last two games is not the same team from the regular season.  The Cubs team from the regular season outscored their opponents by 100+ runs.  The Cubs team from the regular season took walks and had the highest on base percentage in the league.  The Cubs team from the regular season had great starting pitching and a great bullpen.  The Cubs team from the regular season had Gold Glove defense at the corner infield spots.  This is not that team.  This team has gone back to the free swinging, can’t find the strikezone, poor defensive teams of the past 2 decades.

The Cubs still have a chance if they can go back to what was working for them during the season.  If Gerald Perry or Lou Piniella don’t get on their ass about it, though, it’s gonna be over Saturday.

2008 Baseball Predictions – How Did I Do?

Ok, back in March we made our predictions on the season over on Puns.  I decided that with 25 games left, this would be a pretty good time to take a look at how I called things.

AL East Prediction

1. Boston
2. New York
3. Toronto
4. Tampa Bay (I could see Toronto and Tampa flip flopping here though)
5. Baltimore (they will lose over 100)

Boston still has a legit shot at passing Tampa for the division, they are only 3.5 games out and have six games head to head left.  The Yankees will not finish second, and will miss the playoffs for the first time in 13 years.  After four years of predicting that, I finally got that right.  New York will finish either third or fourth in the division depending on how Toronto plays.  I had Baltimore pegged for over 100 losses, they won’t hit that mark, but they will finish last in the division.

AL Central Predictions

1. Detroit
2. Cleveland (WC)
3. Chicago
4. Kansas City
5. Minnesota (any of the last three teams in this division could finish in any order, I don’t think any of them are all that good)

Wow.  Couldn’t have been much more off on this division if I had tried.  The only way Cleveland and Detroit are seeing the playoffs this year is if they buy tickets.  Right now, a realistic goal for them is .500, NEVER would have guessed that before the season.  Chicago has been in first place most of the season and look like they have the slight edge to make the playoffs over a Minnesota team that I still can’t understand how they are winning as much as they are.  Kansas City will finish last, most likely, though I did not even predict that.

AL West Predictions

1. Anaheim
2. Seattle
3. Oakland
4. Texas (that pitching staff is horrific)

Hey I finally got one right! Me and the rest of the planet.  The Angels should wrap this division up in the next few days.  Seattle second huh.  Yeah I was just a BIT off on that one.  Oakland third, well that is right.  They actually looked like they may surprise people this year, then they traded all their pitching and have gone 33-50 since June 1.  Texas pitching IS pretty bad, but their offense bailed them out for a pretty good chunk of the season and kept them on the fringes of the playoffs.  They will finish second in the division, but they are a complete non-factor.

NL East Predictions:

1. Philadelphia
2. New York (WC)
3. Atlanta (I could also see these three teams finishing in any order in the east too, but this is what I am going with now)
4. Washington
5. Florida (in a few years, this team will be really good)

This one can still happen.  The Phillies and Mets play a HUGE series at Shea this weekend.  The Mets are currently 3 games up.  A sweep by them would just about end the season for the Phillies.  I had the team that didn’t win the division as the Wild Card, but that is not going to happen now.  There is no safety net, making this series even bigger.  Atlanta was hanging around until they trades Tex, since then they have gone 11-22 and will have their second losing season in three years.  The Marlins were a whole lot better than I they had any right to be even if they have fallen off a little bit here lately.  The Nats on the other hand, were FAR worse than I thought they would be they have to go 9-12 down the stretch to avoid 100 losses.

NL Central Predictions:

1. Chicago
2. Milwaukee
3. Cincinnati
4. Pittsburgh
5. Houston
6. St. Louis (one of the three bottom teams here could lose 100 games)

It looks like I am going to get the top two teams right in this one.  Despite the problems with Big Z, I think the Cubs can hold on and win this division pretty easily.  Also, despite the hot and cold nature of the Brewers, I think they will hang on for the Wild Card for their first post season appearance in forever.  The rest of the division? I wasn’t even close.  Pittsburgh and Cincinnati won’t lose 100 games, but they will finish at the bottom of the division.  Cincy surprises me, I thought they would be better.  Pittsburgh is on pace for their 16th straight losing season, tying them (I assume) with the Phillies for the longest run of losing seasons in baseball history. (on a depressing side note, the Pirates have some work to do if they really want to surpass the Phillies ineptness, from 1918-1948 the Phillies had ONE winning season, 1932 when they managed to go 78-76.  Then it was back into the crapper for another 16 years)

NL West Predictions:

1. Arizona
2. Colorado
3. San Diego
4. Los Angeles (1-4 could be almost any order though, good teams out here)
5. San Francisco (they will lose 100)

I probably have this one right, I think the D-Backs can hold onto first and make another playoff appearance.  The Dodgers should finish second, and I did kind of predict that.  Colorado is making a late run, but they are 6 back right now, so they have a steep hill to climb.  The Padres are horrific and have to go 9-13 down the stretch to avoid 100 losses.  The Giants were better than I thought.  They will still finish under .500, but they won’t lose 100 unless the bottom COMPLETELY falls out.

Playoffs

Detroit over Anaheim
Boston over Cleveland

There is a chance that three of those four teams won’t even make the playoffs.  Two of them are a lock.

Detroit over Boston

Yeah not happening there.

Chicago over New York
Philly over Arizona

Small chance that this happens, Chicago and Arizona will almost certainly make it, but only one of Philly and New York looks like they will make it this time

Chicago over Philly

Possible.

Detroit over Chicago

Well, Chicago could be there (and they are my pick to come out of the NL)

So what does this mean? I am not very good at predictions.

Are You Ready For Some Favreball?

I am really surprised no one has commented on this, but since me and Mike were talking about it last night, I figured I would give my two cents on the whole Brett Favre saga, or, as I am sure ESPN will start calling it, OPERATION: JILTED QB soon, complete with breaking updates when important things happen, like a private jet being fueled on the runway.

Just stop.  Enough already.  Its not this big a story.

Playing GM

It seems like one of the side effects of the proliferation of fantasy sports is that everyone now thinks they are qualified to be a GM, and everyone has a trade to propose that their favorite team would be idiots not to do.  Well, I am almost certainly not as qualified as Phillies GM Pat Gillick to propose trades and hold the future of that team in my hands, but I am going to give it a try.

The Adventures of Moosehead Jack – Day Three

Day Three of Moosehead Jack’s Excellent Adventure, this time we take in a game in Fenway.  Driving from Schenectady to Boston was actually a pretty nice ride.  We have been really lucky, there had been almost no traffic, no hassle, nothing………that would change

We got to Boston a little earlier and decided that we wanted to get some food.  One guy we were with decided he wanted lobster, so we trusted in tomtom to take us to lobster.  It did.  In Salem.

Now, for those of you who have never had the pleasure of Boston, let me tell you, as the crow flies, Salem is only about fifteen minutes away from Boston.  It took us about 45 minutes to get there.  Now, I am not complaining too much, Salem was pretty cool.   We found a cool place called Lobster Shanty, had the rudest service in the world – on purpose, but it was cool, and I have a great lunch there.

But I am just wondering one thing, what the hell happened to the stop signs in Massachusetts?  There are no fucking stop signs.  And even if there were, I am pretty sure they would be completely ignored.  There are also no right or left turns in Boston, they are all merges, merge left or right.  And people cannot drive, it was amazing.

So anyway, we get to Fenway, and I gotta say, it was really cool.  We had nose bleed seats, well they weren’t even seats, it was SRO, so we couldn’t even sit down, but just being there was really cool.  The fact that the Sox won was a bonus, and hearing the people sing “Sweet Caroline” was just kind of surreal.

So now I sit in Pawtucket, seems nice, but since it is almost 1am I really have no idea.  I have some pictures I will post, but my batteries ran dead on the camera and I have to charge them first.  Tomorrow is New York City, which should be really interesting.  I thought the traffic in Boston was bad, and cause for a white knuckle ride, New York should be way worse.

The Adventures of Moosehead Jack – Day Two

Day Two: Went to the Hall of Fame in Cooperstown. What a great place. We spent almost two hours walking around the little shops around the hall before we even went into the hall itself. It was pretty cool, thought you would think the Mets, Yankees and Red Sox threw up there, there was more stuff from them than all the other teams combined. I did get a great Mike Schmidt Cooperstown jersey though, so it was worth it.

The Adventures of Moosehead Jack – Day 1

First day of the trip, pretty uneventful day.   We drove from Detroit to Utica New York.  Utica is a pretty nice little town here, and I have to say upstate New York is a nice area.  Easy drive and all that, almost no traffic, no construction, just a whole lot of toll roads.

We are staying in a REALLY nice hotel, the Hotel Utica.  This place was built in 1912, so of course, being the history wank that I am, I love it.  It was pretty expensive, so we were slumming up for the night.  I don’t have any pictures yet, they will come tomorrow, I plan on taking a bunch before we leave.  It kind of reminds me of the hotel in the Shining.  Though, I have to say if I see a man blowing some guy in a bear suit, I will have to wonder what the hell Solly is doing in New York.

Tomorrow we head to the Hall of Fame, I am really looking forward to that.  Lots of pictures I hope, and hopefully have more time to post this a little earlier.

Ok until then, I will write more tomorrow.  A couple rum and cokes with dinner has made me a little loopy.