Braves/Phils: Opening Night

Pregame: Philly gets to celebrate its defending World Series champs while I wonder what Chan Ho Park has to do with any of it. Joe Morgan looks the same as he did in 1990, so says Jon Miller. Good to know the Apollo Creed mustache is still going strong 20 years later. Steve Phillips joins the broadcast this season, as apparently ESPN needed to fill its skirt chasing quota. If it were any other duo, this move would probably be subtraction by addition, but since it’s Miller and Morgan, it’s a lateral move at worst. The Phils walk to the field thru the crowd like the NWO or something, while starting pitcher Brett Myers just comes out of the bullpen. My guess is that’s a term of his probation. Speaking of wife beating, Bobby Cox is back for a 613^th consecutive season on the bench for Atlanta.

Top 1: Myers gets the start tonight because Cole Hamels is a pussy. Harry Doyle once said that the first at bat of the season would set the stage for the entire year. Kelly Johnson flies out, so apparently nothing’s changed from last year. Larry Jones gets booed and rightfully so, but slaps a 3-2 pitch to left for a single to extend the inning. McCann’s batting cleanup? It’s come to that for the Braves? Wait… never mind. Mac just hit it to the moon, putting it in the second deck in right for a quick 2-0 lead!! Now’s as good time as any to comment on the Braves navy blue unis, which suck, and the all blue batting helmets, which are blah. 116 year old Garret Anderson hits one a mile, but foul, before grounding out.

Bot 1: Time for the Atlanta debut for Derek Lowe – hopefully the Face is long gone. He looks like someone, but I have no idea who. I’ve always liked Lowe and like him with the Braves. Not sure he’s an ace though. Rollins 3-unassisted. Werth has trimmed back the hair and no longer looks like Edge. Joe and Steve talk about the Mets collapse… last year’s edition, not the ones from ’06 and ’07. Morgan praises Braves’ rookie Jordan Schafer, who is likely the next Brave I despise, given his attitude problems in the minors coming up thru the system. Hey, I thought Utley was out thru like June. Utley crushes one deep right, but Frenchy runs it down on the track.

Top 2: Before I can get back to my seat, Frenchy swings at the first pitch (no shock there) and lines it directly into the left field seats!! Holy shit!! It’s 3-0 and the boo birds are out for Myers. Glad to see a title hasn’t changed anything for the moron Philly fans. It appears Frenchy has ditched the evil Frenchy chin strap beard in favor of a light goatee. I like it. Casey Kotchman – the big return in the Teixiera trade – strikes out, and Schafer’s up in his major league debut. I dropped this fool in my fantasy league in favor of Milwaukee’s Mat Gamel, so what does Schafer do? HOMERS TO DEAD CENTER!! Who needs to go to jail for domestic violence when you got 50,000 drunk Philly fans ready to pound your ass? Huge Bronx cheer when Myers gets out of the inning.

Bot 2: Lowe vs. Howard to lead off. $20 says Howard strikes out – and he does!! No worries, he’ll drill a homer off Wickman in the 9^th to win the game. I know better. Prized free agent pickup Raul Ibanez grounds out. And hey, let’s check on the WOMEN’S FINAL FOUR!! Speaking of women, Victorino grounds out and that’s a 1-2-3 inning with ease.

Top 3: Myers is back out, so I guess he hasn’t been drawn and quartered in the streets yet. Yet. And then Escobar DRILLS one to deep left center and the fans are booing even before it stays in the park for a double. LOVE the Phils fan who’s already so cynical about the season that he’s arguing that he touched the ball and that it should be a home run. IT’S SIX OUTS INTO THE SEASON!! Phillips rambles about all the pitches Larry can hit, to which Morgan counters with a 22 second rant about “fastball in” being the only one he can’t hit. Larry proves Morgan wrong by whiffing at a breaking ball instead. Mac fouls out, and Anderson grounds out to strand Escobar.

Bot 3: Happy peter leads off the 3^rd and flies out harmlessly to shallow center. Is it just me or is Miller balder this year than last? Frenchy muffs a foul ball in right while Joe calls him “Fran-CHUR.” Ya gotta think that Ruiz gets on given the free out, and of course he does, ripping one inside the 3^rd base line. More fan interference this time, and it’s a double. Myers works the count and grounds out on the first pitch. Ya gotta love PAUL MAHOLM getting an opening day start in the big leagues. Nothing says “we’re committed to winning” like putting Paul Maholm on the hill for opening day, and not due to an injury. Way to go, Pittsburgh. Rollins does NOTHING and that’s that.

Top 4: It’s refreshing to see Citizens Bank Park when there’s not a monsoon over it. Frenchy leads off the inning and TAKES FIVE PITCHES IN A ROW! He celebrates this watershed moment by lining out to Rollins. The crew praises Frenchy for adjusting his stance this year, going to an open stance (not entirely Terry Pendleton style, but getting there) which I approve of. An underrated detrimental effect of trading Teixiera: not as much cup adjustment between pitches this season. I miss that already. With that second inning bomb, Schafer joins Elijah Dukes in the “Baseball Players to be in Jail Someday” club. Check that, in the “MLB’ers Who Homered in their First AB” club. Schafer gets on anyway, but Lowe flies out to end the inning.

Bot 4: Schafer looks like a complete tool with his unshaped cap. Why don’t ya just turn it sideways and wear it like B.J. Upton? Larry with a lazy one hop throw that beats Werth at first. Breaking News!! Louisville beats Oklahoma!! THIS IS THE GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY OF ESPN! Kotchman with a good diving stop and gets Utley. Howard grounds out, apparently having left his talent at Dick’s Sporting Goods.

Top 5: Philly pitching coach says Myers is fine. Sure, he’s only been rocked for three homers and had a half dozen other balls smoked, but he’s fine. So what happens then? Larry crushes one for a groundrule double. Joe says Chipper is “picking up where he left off,” which is code for “will be on the DL within two weeks.” As I’m losing interest in the game, Myers gets out of trouble.

Bot 5: Phillips finally speaks for the first time in two innings, having presumably returned from the bathroom after some bad cheesesteak, and mentions that Cholly says that Victorino isn’t a good bunt guy or a good hit and run guy and that he just wants Victorino to swing the bat. On cue, he strikes out. The game is officially boring at this point, but when it’s your pitcher getting 1-2-3 innings, boring is a good thing.

Top 6: Anderson gets a fluky infield hit off Myers’ glove to lead off. Back to back infield grounders move Anderson to third. “Logan Schafer” comes to the plate, as Jon Miller channels his inner Jim Ross. Seriously, dude homers his first career AB on opening night, singles his next AB, Joe Morgan’s gushing over him, and you can’t get his fucking name right?? Schafer gets on base three straight, this one with an intentional walk to set up Lowe. Lowe, unlike Myers earlier, works the count, but watches strike three go by. “Likely Myers’ last pitch.” Of the night, sure. Unfortunately, not for his career.

Bot 6: They keep talking about the “official” first Sunday Night Baseball of the year coming NEXT week. How isn’t this “official?” It’s not like anyone gives a shit anyway. Greg Dobbs pinch hits for Myers and it’s mentioned that Dobbs also homered in his first MLB at bat. Can you guess who it came off of? I’ll give you three guesses, but you’ll only need one. Joe says Cholly doesn’t manage X’s and O’s, which is too bad, considering Andy Reid could use some help next door. Besides, do you really manage “X’s and O’s” in baseball? Unless you’re Jerry Manuel or Earl Weaver, respectively. Rollins gets on with two outs, but Lowe catches a liner back at him from Werth and that’s that.

Top 7: Two down in a hurry, and Larry’s back to the plate. Morgan talks for FIFTY FOUR SECONDS without coming up for air about talking to Hank Aaron and getting old and learning to hit and repeats himself about 5 times in all. Larry makes like he’s at a Hooters and has a seat.

Bot 7: Middle of the order here in what may be Philly’s last good chance. And Lowe gives me NO material to work with, retiring Utley, Howard, and Ibanez in quick fashion. Man, that Philly 3-4-5 is SCARY… if you’re a Phils fan.

Top 8: I’m officially not paying any attention anymore. Durbin is on to strike out, er, face Frenchy with two outs. And hey, look at that!! No, not that Frenchy struck out, but that he struck out LOOKING! Someone call a press conference. This from the same dude who would swing at a pick off attempt to first base. Despite the result of the at bat, this is promising.

Bot 8: Eight pitches, three outs. Need I say more?

Top 9: Why the hell is Lidge in the game? He retires two quickly and they pinch hit for Lidge as the dramatic horror movie score begins to play from the Atlanta bullpen. Lowe’s given up two hits over eight innings, just threw eight pitches to sit three guys and you’re not letting him finish it? Are you kidding me?? He’s in complete control out there!!

Bot 9: The surgically repaired Mike Gonzalez is on to close things out is this non-save situation. I trust this guy more than any arm that’s been in that bullpen since 2002 John Smoltz – which isn’t exactly saying much. Bruntlett pinch hits to lead off and doubles on the 4^th pitch. Oh boy… Rollins with a sac fly to right, and Frenchy can’t gun Bruntlett down at third. Werth singles to left to break up the shutout as I’m ready to start throwing things in a minute. Peter Moylan and AA’s Favorite Relief Pitcher are warming up in the pen, which is the equivalent of choosing between Solly and Moose to pinch run for Sid Bream. Utley walks on five pitches and Howard steps in as the tying run. Jesus Christ… Maybe he’ll go 6-5-3 on the shift. Smart money says he ties the game here. But I am happily wrong! Carlos Howard looks at strike three and we got two down! Philly’s last chance rides on star free agent all-star future hall of famer acquisition Ibanez. Philly might as well pack it in. Ibanez works it full… but STRIKES OUT SWINGING! The Braves sweat out a 4-1 victory on opening night, yet I have NO IDEA why Lowe didn’t close it out.

No witty post game from me considering I didn’t finish watching the game til Thursday and I have no interest in listening to Morgan and Phillips talk about nothing.

Panic Room

I’ve been trying to avoid references to 2007 for as long as possible but after seeing tonight’s deflating, lifeless, lethargic 7-2 loss to the last place Nationals, I can’t help but rewind to last year when the Mets were losing the same games to the same teams in the same way.  For fuck’s sake, they got handcuffed by a team with 93 losses and we still have two more weeks to play!

I always thought what separated this bunch from last year’s was the ability to re-group after a tough loss and win a few in a row.  It happened after blowing the 5-2 lead to the Phillies at Shea and the 7-0 game in Philly and after yesterday’s horrific meltdown against the Braves, I felt going to DC was exactly what the Mets needed. Instead it seems like the team is just hell-bent on ripping off those year-old scabs and taking their fans through another September to Misremember (thanks Rog).

13 games left… 3 in Washington, 3 in Atlanta, 4 against the hopefully already clinched Cubs, and fittingly the Marlins wrap up Shea with a 3 game set, just like they did in 2007.  If these guys have any pride or balls, the results will be different.

Mets-Phils… the last time at Shea

Hello reader (s) – we decided to keep a running diary from tonight’s Mets-Phils game.  Enjoy (or try to anyway, especially the post-game stuff).

MightyDerf86 (4:59:13 PM): Hello asshole

MightyDerf86 (4:59:24 PM): “The Phils should win the first game for the good of the blog”

TarheelMike82 (4:59:29 PM): HAHAHAHAHA

MightyDerf86 (4:59:29 PM): FUCK OFF, YES?

TarheelMike82 (4:59:43 PM): Well, that makes for a MUCH more entertaining chat here this evening

TarheelMike82 (4:59:49 PM): Oh absolutely asshole

MightyDerf86 (5:00:01 PM): it makes for a must win game for both teams

TarheelMike82 (5:00:32 PM): Speaking of assholes

MooseheadJack13 (5:00:43 PM): yeah Solly is here

MightyDerf86 (5:00:48 PM): shut it

MooseheadJack13 (5:01:17 PM): the Phillies got shut down by Jamie Fucking Moyer today

TarheelMike82 (5:01:32 PM): Didn’t Jamie Moyer have an ‘86 Topps card?

MightyDerf86 (5:01:37 PM): so did the Mets, ace

YOU GO, WE GO

If I can quote the great Stu Nahan: “What started out as a joke has turned out to be a disaster.”

It’s been a while since I blasted my favorite team, the New York Mess.  I wanted to be fair to new skipper Jerry Manuel and and given that it’s been almost two months since he took the reigns from Willie Randolph, I’m due for a mini meltdown.   I’ve never thought of pre-Septmber games as “must win” since you can still live to play another day if you lose in June or July.  It just makes it a bit harder to do so.  However, there are a handful of games a team can’t afford to lose.  The Mess lost one today to the Pittsburgh Pirates.  The same Pirates who traded their two main cogs, Bay and Nady, away and were basically fielding a AAAA team out there.  Today’s game was a make-up game from an April rainout and let’s face it, the Pirates probably just wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible and with an early 3-0 deficit due to a Wright 3-run HR, that’s what it looked like.

THIS TIME IT COUNTS~!

Hello loyal readers (all two of you) – the boys here at 3 Men decided to keep a running diary from last night’s epic All-Star Game.  Enjoy.

Ahem….

I’d like to bring your attention to this entry that I made Monday morning after the CC trade to the Brewers, particularly this part:

Finally, I’m certain the Cubs will do something to counter this move.  I fully expect to see AJ Burnett or Rich Harden in Cubbie pinstripes before the trade deadline, maybe sooner.

And now doesn’t this look nice?

Rays/Sox: The Running Diary

Ah… that’s better.  The “paste special” option is the trick to getting this thing to work right… I see.

6:00 LIVE from Tropicana Dump… er, Field, we’ve got one of the bigger pre-All-Star Break games you’ll see this season, the FIRST PLACE Tampa Bay rays hosting the defending World Series Champs, the hated Boston Red Sox, with the Rays looking to sweep Boston in St. Pete for the second time this season. On the intro, we see FOUR Red Sox shirts in line coming into the stadium. ZERO Rays shirts. Vomit-inducing. But there DOES appear to be a good number of TB fans in the house, and they are armed with signs and cowbells.

24 + 1

In a nutshell, the Mets are incredibly inconsistent.  They’ll score 15 runs one game and make Sidney Ponson look like Cy Young later that night.  Reyes can go from hitting triples and stealing bases to popping up on the first pitch and making errors.  There is a lack of focus throughout this organization so it pretty much absolves Randolph.  Every game, win or lose, there are numerous mental and/or physical errors.  Reyes alone has been picked off 2nd TWICE in the span of a month.  If you’re going to score from second on a hit, stealing 3rd with two outs is moot.

The pitching, which was supposed to be the team’s strength, has been spotty at times. Every pitcher, whether it’s Santana, Pedro, Maine or Perez seems to be sailing for a few innings before getting derailed in the 4th, 5th, or 6th.  Again it just seems to be a lack of focus that prevents the Mets from winning these close games.  Is it any wonder that they lead the majors in HBP with 43?   That being said, I can’t really blame the pitching because the lineup is horrifically anemic.  You can’t expect to win a lot of games having near automatic outs after your 1-4 hitters are up.  You can’t have corner outfielders of Chavez, Phillips, Tatis and Anderson and think you’re going to outscore anyone.   The team has the worst LF production in the game and there’s someone available who can produce a 1.000 OPS without the cost of prospects. You can’t tell me Bonds wouldn’t have better numbers than those guys.  Forget creating a circus atmosphere, this is a team that twice held press conferences to announce nothing was happening with the manager before firing him in the middle of the night.  I hate to say it but Bonds gives this lineup an instant shot (no pun intended) of credibility.  Otherwise the opposing pitcher can take a breather after getting out Beltran because it’s smooth sailing until Reyes comes back up.  It puts more pressure on the pitchers because this isn’t a team that will outslug anyone.  One bad pitch can mean the game.  An error on the field or on the basepaths can mean the game.  This is a team with absolutely NO margin for error.

This brings me to my last point.  Santana has been very very good this season, but not great.  I understand he’s a 2nd half pitcher but he’s pitched well enough to win but well enough to lose at the same time.  He has been victimized by no run support, bad defense and a bad bullpen, but what makes a great pitcher one of the best is being able to win those close 2-1, 1-0 games.  I do know that the best pitcher in baseball shouldn’t be giving up a grand slam to a pitcher no matter HOW the bases were loaded.  Wright made an error, fine.  Pick him up and get Hernandez out.  What do you don’t do is throw your teammates under the bus like you did with the Seattle game and yesterday’s Yankee game.  This is what he said yesterday:

“I’m doing my job.  Other than that, there’s nothing else I can do.  I can’t go out there and do the things that my teammates have to do.”

Holy shit.  Not only did he throw all of his teammates under the bus, he backed that fucker up to make sure it hit all 24. It’s a cliché but you win as a team and lose as a team.  I don’t think the guy who stalled negotiations to milk every last dollar should be acting all high and mighty, especially when he’s getting taken yard by a guy with 8 career ABs and walking & balking his way to another loss. You want to show some fire?  Do it on the mound and pick your teammates up when they’re not scoring or fielding for you.

Why Willie Randolph, you look like somebody walked all over your grave

Check out the scene in Tombstone where Doc Holliday surprises Johnny Ringo in the woods… I was wearing Ringo’s expression this morning as I headed straight for espn.com where I was greeted with this:

What a fucking disgrace. I understand managers are hired to ultimately be fired but OVERNIGHT after a hard-earned win in California? Good fucking Christ. Why this didn’t happen after the Colorado series, let alone 2007 is beyond me. Why they had to use him as a fucking ping-pong ball is beyond me. I’m not mad about the decision, I’m mad about how it went down. For an image-conscious franchise, they CLEARLY have no idea what they’re doing. My only hope is Omar fired the coaches and Willie said if the coaches go, he goes too. Either way, firing a guy at midnight is classless and disrespectful. Seriously, Bender showed Vernon more respect than what Willie got.

Whatever. Willie was fired as soon as he was hired. He was NEVER given full autonomy of the team, never got to pick all of his coaches, and tried to make chicken salad out of a chickenshit bullpen, not to mention being saddled with a gimpy Alou and a broken-down Pedro. And Omar better watch his back too…from the day he was hired he said how he wanted to make the Mets younger and faster. Nothing says speedy like carrying 3 catchers and having the oldest roster in the game.

Stay classy Mets – you’re making Rachel Phelps look like Mother Theresa.

Got a good lock… firing…

Congratulations Mets, you found a way to make the off the field stuff more pathetic than what’s on the field.

Fresh off the abortion known as waiting for weeks to finally put the twice-concussed Ryan Church on the DL, Mets management has gone to a new low with the handling of Willie Randolph.  The absolute nerve of the Wilpons to leave Randolph twisting in the wind for weeks now, culminating in last night’s embarrassment of Willie answering questions of if he’s even going to get on the plane to Anaheim. Just fire him already if that’s the plan but this hemming and hawing is a joke.  Stop being so fucking indecisive and do something, whether it’s firing Randolph and/or the coaches or flat out saying his job is safe for the year.  Just get the focus off this mini soap opera and put it back on the field where it belongs.